December 13, 2012

3 Easy Holiday Bark Recipes.

So continuing on this Holiday Bark path how about 3 more that are stupid easy - Cookies 'n Cream Bark, Roasted Almond Bark, and Rocky Road Bark.
Cookies 'n Cream Bark
Cookies 'n Cream Bark.
Roasted Almond Bark
Roasted Almond Bark.
Rocky Road Bark
Rocky Road Bark.
Considering we're a week and a half out from Christmas (HOLYSHIT HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!) we're officially in Last Minute Gift territory.  Any of these would be fantastic for some quick gifting.

Each of these three barks follows the same basic steps:

Melt, Mix, Dump.

That's it!  Stupid easy.  Nothing tricky, nothing fancy, no measuring at all.  The kind of baking you can do while also enjoying some Holiday Drinks (for example - Make yourself a White Russian substituting the cream for eggnog.  Seriously.  Go.  DO IT NOW.  Have one for the pregnant lady who is unable to participate in the holiday drinking season and is making up for it by making ridiculous amounts of candy.  AHEM.)

But!  I know it's easier to play along if I actually write out the recipes so... First start with my Tips for Making Bark & Working with Chocolate - all of those apply here.  Then:

Cookies 'n Cream Bark.

Cookies 'n Cream Bark
Ingredients:
1lb White Chocolate
Approx. 18-20 Oreos (somewhere in the neighborhood of a cup and a half)
Parchment paper

To Make:
Melt the white chocolate in a double boiler.
Smash up the Oreos. They can be as fine or as coarse as you want.  I used a ziplock bag and a kid:

Making some holiday bark
HULKSMASH.
Yeah my Oreo's weren't all that evenly crushed.  Whatever.  It's bark.  Perfection is not the point here.
Making some holiday bark
My Oreos are perfectly smashed, thank you very much.
Once the chocolate is completely melted and smooth take it off of the heat for a few minutes.  So it isn't scalding hot anymore.  Mix in all but about 1/4 cup of the smashed Oreos.  Dump mixture on a parchment lined baking sheet and spread it out so it's pretty even and thin.  Sprinkle the remaining Oreos on top.  Press the Oreos into the chocolate a little bit so that they stick.
Cookies 'n Cream Bark

Throw the whole mess in the 'fridge until it sets.  Take it out, let it come up to room tempature, and cut/break into pieces.

Cookies 'n Cream Bark
YUM.

Roasted Almond Bark.

Roasted Almond Bark
Ingredients:
1lb White Chocolate
Approx. 1-1/4 cup whole Almonds
Parchment paper

To Make:
First roast the Almonds: Spread the Almonds evenly on a baking sheet.  Salt them if you want.  Put them in a 350 degree oven for approx. 10-15 minutes.  Keep an eye on them - you want them to be a nice, golden brown:
Making some holiday bark
Melt the white chocolate in a double boiler.

Cookies 'n Cream Bark
Once the chocolate is completely melted and smooth take it off of the heat for a few minutes.  So it isn't scalding hot anymore.  Mix in the Almonds.  Dump mixture on a parchment lined baking sheet and spread it out so it's pretty even and thin.  Throw the whole mess in the 'fridge until it sets.  Take it out, let it come up to room temperature, and cut/break into pieces.

Roasted Almond Bark
Mmmm Nutty and Delicious.

Rocky Road Bark:

Rocky Road Bark
Ingredients:
1lb Dark Chocolate
Approx. 1 cup Walnuts
Approx. 1 cup mini-marshmallows
Parchment paper

To Make:
Chop up the Walnuts (or you can buy them pre-chopped and save yourself a step.)
Melt the dark chocolate in a double boiler.

Rocky Road Bark

Rocky Road Bark

Once the chocolate is completely melted and smooth take it off of the heat for a few minutes.  So it isn't scalding hot anymore.  Mix in all but about 1/4 cup of the Walnuts.  Mix in all of the mini-marshmallows.
Rocky Road Bark
Dump mixture on a parchment lined baking sheet and spread it out so it's pretty even and thin. Sprinkle the remaining Walnuts on top.  Press the Walnuts into the chocolate a little bit so that they stick. 
Rocky Road Bark

Throw the whole mess in the 'fridge until it set.  Take it out, let it come up to room temperature, and cut/break into pieces.

Rocky Road Bark
It's so, SO good.

I plan on packaging these in small bags and giving them in sets.  Yay for simple, delicious, and homemade gifts!!!

December 11, 2012

Peppermint Bark and Other Bark Tips.

So.  If you guys follow me on twitter or instagram you probably know I've been on a bit of a candy bark jag lately.  Candy bark is just that - chocolate with candy or other nonsense poured out into a bark.  It's just so easy!  And fun!  And delicious!  And will be the best teacher's gift ever.

Peppermint bark all ready to be teachers' gifts!  #bark #candycane #yum #christmas #candy #peppermint #peppermintbark
Peppermint Bark.  Aka the bark that started this whole thing.
Let me start at the beginning...

So my mom is a music teacher.  And was during the '80's.  Which means that she has approximately 1.1 million horrific, musical themed Christmas ornaments.  And other eye-searing "decorations."  But occasionally she would get something delicious.  The food presents were always the best ones.  So when I was a kid I vowed to never to ever give any teacher any gift that wasn't tasty and disposable.

Peppermint Bark
Pictured:  the opposite of a hideous ornament.
Fast forward to this year - the first year that I have to give teacher's gifts for my kids.  I asked my mom what's hot right now and her answer unequivocally was Peppermint Bark.  It's all the rage with the high-end chocolate set.  So that's how it started... and things kindof snowballed from there:

My creation
Peppermint Bark, Roasted Almond Bark, Cookies 'n Cream Bark
So. Many. Delicious. Barks!

My creation
Samoa Bark, Rocky Road Bark, Salted Caramel Cashew Bark.
Can't stop... it's too dangerous to stop... I have to slow down first.

I plan on packaging them in small bags and giving sets of them as gifts.  Flawless.  Also Delicious.

How about some recipes!

Starting with the basics...  If you've never worked with chocolate before I have some tips about that at the end of this post.  Let's start by focusing on bark, though.

Peppermint Bark

Tips for Making Barks:

- You can make a bark out of just about any combo of nonsense and chocolate.  Nuts! Dried Fruit!  Candy! Cereal! Pretzels!  All fair game.

- Use the best chocolate you can get your hands on.  This is not a time for melting chocolate chips.  The wafers are the best.  I got mine at Mare's Cake & Candy Supplies on Lorain.  They were super helpful and yay for shopping local!

- You want the bark to be pretty thin.  When in doubt spread it thinner.  If it gets too thick it's bulky and difficult to break apart.

- You're looking for a ratio of about 1.5 cups of nonsense to 1lb of chocolate.

Rocky Road Bark
Mmmmm.  Nonsense.
- The steps for bark are pretty much the same no matter what your ingredients.  Just melt the chocolate, mix in the nonsense, pour it out on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and put it in the fridge to set.  That's it!

- To cut the bark I've been using a sharp butcher's knife combined with just breaking it.  You want it to be a bit rough looking.  The rustic look is very in.  Let the bark come up to room temp before you attempt cutting it, though or the the whole thing will chip apart.

- Store the bark in a cool place (like a fruit cellar) in a sealed container.  It's chocolate so as long as you don't use anything perishable it will keep for awhile.

On to a recipe!  This is the bark that started it all.  It's also one of the more complicated ones.  Stay tuned, though.  Easier recipes are coming!

Peppermint Bark:


Peppermint Bark

Ingredients:
3/4 lb Dark Chocolate (approx 12 oz)
1lb White Chocolate
1 1/2 cup + crushed candy canes.  I actually found precrushed peppermint candies at JoAnn Fabric of all places.  If you can find it get that.  Much easier.
1/2 teaspoon or more or Peppermint Extract.
Parchment Paper.

To make:
- Melt Dark Chocolate in double boiler.  Add 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract. Taste it and see if it's pepperminty enough.  If not add more extract.  I ended up adding about 3/4 teaspoon but go slowly.  The extract is STRONG.
- Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
- Pour melted chocolate onto the parchment paper and spread to get a thin, even layer.  Lightly tap the baking sheet on the counter a few times to even it all out.

Making some holiday bark
-Put the chocolate in the fridge for 5min or so until it just starts to set.
-Melt the white chocolate in a double boiler.
-Mix about 1 1/4 cup of the crushed peppermint candies into the white chocolate.  You can add more if necessary - you want a pretty thick mixture.
- Pour the white chocolate/peppermint mix on top of the dark chocolate.  Spread it out in an even layer.

Peppermint Bark

- Sprinkle any remaining peppermint candies on top.  Press into the chocolate lightly so it sticks.
Peppermint Bark

 - Put the whole thing in the fridge to set.

Peppermint Bark

Delicious! And super fancy! 

Peppermint Bark
Yes. Yes. and then some more YES.

Tips for Working with Chocolate:

- Use a double boiler.  Yes, you can do it in the microwave.  But chocolate burns in a second so even if you watch it like a hawk there's a solid chance you will burn a batch.  Also maintaining a consistent temperature is next to impossible. The double boiler is a set it and forget it situation.  If you don't have a double boiler you can ghetto one out of a metal bowl and a pot like I did:

- Use low heat.  You don't want your water to be boiling, just steamy.

- Never, ever, ever get any water in your chocolate.  Bad News Bears.

- Once you put something other than chocolate in your pot, wash it before you use it again.  Certain flavors like mint or peanut butter will flavor EVERYTHING around it so be careful when mixing.  Also store anything strongly flavored separate from your other chocolate.

- I have heard of something called a leveling spatula.  I do not own one of these and yet have had no issues getting my barks even enough.  Just pour slowly and spread out from the center.  Once you've poured all of the chocolate out and have it pretty level give the whole pan a couple of solid taps on the counter.  This will really even things out.

- You don't want to handle chocolate too much.  Once it's made leave it alone.  The heat from your hands can melt and smudge it and it won't be nearly as pretty with fingerprints on it.

- Again, and I can't say this enough, use the best chocolate you can get your hands on.  It makes SUCH a difference!

Peppermint Bark

Yay for delicious homemade gifts!!!!

December 9, 2012

The closest I'll ever get to being Royalty

So.  I disappeared there for a bit.  Yeah I've been sick.  Real sick.  Like ended up in the ER b/c I couldn't stop throwing up sick.  So that was... fun.  Considering that my kid was sick last week, too, and my entire twitter feed for the last few weeks has been horror stories of puking I'm guessing it was an unholy combo of pregnancy and flu.  Whatever it was I made the right call in going into the hospital.  I debated it and debated it but didn't want to wake my whole family up.  So I called the On Call Nurse at 3AM.  Who basically told me "Bitch, get off the phone and get your ass into the ER."    So I manned up and drove myself in.  Also you know it's bad when they give you a IV dose of Zofran and you keep puking.  BUT!  We're all on the mend now.  I'm still pretty weak and I have no energy whatsoever but I'm hydrated.  Which is not nothing.

(I started telling that story in a much longer version including details of my kid's pukefest but decided noone wanted to hear about that.  Although I'm tempted to just SEO the shit out of it because it's gotten to the point where I kindof feel like I've become something of a puke expert.  I have so many pearls of wisdom on this issue!  Such as this gem:  If you think you might be sick NEVER, EVER wear a cowl neck sweater.)

(another aside:  Junk punches for everyone who called the Duchess of Cambridge's recent hospital trip "privileged"  Um... puking so much you are dehydrated to the point of hospitalization is AWFUL no matter how many crown jewels you own.  And throat punches for anyone who has said that "it should abate by the second trimester"  HAAAAAAAA.  Yeah you don't start a pregnancy puking that much only to magically feel 100% better once the clock turns week 14.  More like you keep most of your food down and it's a pregnancy miracle worth celebrating with cheese-steak)

ANYWAYS!  How about a quick photo summary of the last few weeks?

My daughter and I got to be guest judges for the Gingerbread House competition at Glow - the completely revamped winter festival at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens:

My girl and I at the Cleveland Botanical Garden!
More on it tomorrow.  Very cool event.

For Thanksgiving we went to a family reunion in PA and then continued on to DC to visit our friends for real this time:

Making friends with Rufus. @mouthy_broad 's kitty.
Rufus was happy we made it this time.
The highlight of which was going to see the Big Planes at the National Air and Space Museum (not the one on the mall.  the one where the Really Big Stuff is kept):

Big Planes

 And the Space Shuttle Discovery:
Big Planes
Checking out the space shuttle Discovery.  #latergram #discovery #space

And the landing thingy for Apollo 11 which blew my mind:

Big Planes
seriously how did they ever convince astronauts any of this was a good idea?

In the calm between my daugther's sick and my sick we decorated a bit and went to a bar for some football:

Some weekend fun

We also cleaned out our crazy hoarder basement.  It was pretty insane down there.  Once we sorted and removed the layers of baby crap it felt like visiting an apartment we used to live in.  But it's time to move on and we have listed quite a bit of the nonsense on Craigslist.  Such as this wonderful pool table:

Some weekend fun
And an elliptical that we acquired accidentally that I have literally never (and will never) used.

So yeah. I think that's about it for now.  Hopefully now that I'm over the worst of it I'll be back to this space with some regularity again.  I miss blogging the same way that I miss so many things I haven't been able to do lately (knitting, eating solid foods, dying yarn, functioning as an adult, etc.)
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